The Paradox of Tolerance

Our future

Racism is problem in America. I start with this because it’s not something to be ignored or danced around. Many great injustices have been done with regards to race, most famously and notably of course by many White people, primarily toward many Black people.

I believe forms of great racial injustice do still exist today and surface in various places and ways. These are real problems that need to be addressed, and many are working hard to explore ways to do so. This good work, must continue.

But, racism as many are considering it today, I believe is deeper than a series of choices made by “evil” individuals or people groups. In fact, it’s a natural mindset found in us all. There is a term known as homophily which refers to the tendency to want to associate with people like us. People who look, think and act like us feel familiar, safe. We know how to act and can feel free to do so without fear of rejection in a way we may not experience with people who are different. It helps us to bond with one another more quickly, to connect.

People who are different than us though - genders, races, ages — tend to be reduced to a series of somewhat stereotypical images to us. This works both for and against them (and us) in many ways. Women may be seen as more emotional (and therefore possibly less rational and trustworthy) than men. People with less education may seem less tolerant, while people with more education may seem more tolerant.

We have a tendency to lump everyone different from us together. “Women always…”, “Men are so…”, “White people are…”, “Black people need to just…” Why do we do this? We know it’s not true for all. Yet we generalize, fueling fires, wanting to lash out against all. Why?

Because of this natural tendency, we are all racist in some way. We all tend to prefer those who are like us by default. An exception may be when we feel stung by people who look, think, act like us to the point where we feel we need to reject them as well.

I believe these natural tendencies can be overcome by a willingness to recognize them, acknowledge atrocities and grievances caused by them, understand that payment for them may not be possible (and that forgiveness without that may be required), and through conducting a series of empathetic conversations.

In addition to these embedded ideas within us, is another concept — victimhood. Who disagrees with a victim or calls out a lack of innocence within them? Who says that a victim is wrong? A bully? An abuser? Oppressor? Bigot?

This is a highly sensitive discussion. There are horrific crimes committed in this world which directly create very real victims. These victims have loved ones who also often suffer both immediately and even over the course of multiple generations. It’s tragic and should be recognized. Healing needs to occur.

Unfortunately, we’re losing site of what exactly constitutes a victim. I believe this is partly attributed to our desire to create a tolerant society. There is an idea known as the paradox of tolerance which states that if tolerance is practiced with no limit in a society, the intolerant eventually take over. Perhaps part of our challenge is the definition of the word “tolerate” itself, which is defined as allowing the existence, occurrence or practice of something that one does not necessarily like or agree with without interference. Basically, allowing people to state what they what without preventing them to do so. But does this really mean everyone? Racists? Sharp-tongued feminists? “The Left”, “the Right”? What about the far right? Who are these people that are allowed to speak their mind?

It’s tempting to say this should be anyone who doesn’t “hate” on others, who doesn’t hurt others. There is a concept growing in popularity that anyone who does should be silenced.

This is the paradox of tolerance.

We are quickly becoming intolerant of ideas we do not want to hear. We’re attempting to silence voices we don’t agree with. It’s even been proven that we are willing to ignore facts if it protects our concept of “truth”. While this is starting to surface in politics (hey “left” and “right” — I’m looking at you both), it’s growing quickly in smaller ways in our culture. Rather than having discussions, we’re using social media to throw out quick, inflammatory ideas which spark anger and discouragement. We mock and scoff at those we disagree with, shaming them in an effort to make them be viewed as obviously wrong and us, obviously right.

Shame on us.

We need to recognize our natural tendencies to bond with those like us, while sanity-checking those ideas with the fact that no human being should ever be oppressed, that we have much to learn from one another, and that when we shutter our own self-interest we can be challenged in ways that may not always be pleasant, but can truly help us to be better people.