Sending Thoughts and Prayers…

No, really

I recently came across a post about one author’s view of the expression “sending thoughts and prayers”. They felt that this comment was a nonchalant way of someone achieving both checking the kindness box and making one feel like a good person while “doing nothing”.

As someone who prays daily for dozens of folks, my initial response was to disagree. I spoke with my loving but slightly cynical partner though who admittedly doesn’t pray quite as frequently and they aligned with the author’s thoughts. They felt that “most people do not actually pray for someone when they say they will.”

My heart broke a little.

If I say that I’m praying for someone, I do, sometimes for years. I’ve had the great fortune of getting to see over the years multiple people on my list get healed from cancer, get naturally pregnant after years of failed IVF and other attempts, years of addiction broken, changed perspectives and great relief from depression and anxiety, relationships healed within families and more.

However, this topic has been on my mind for some time. What spurred me to finally write about this topic today was seeing a headline for an article here on Medium title “Giving Comfort Takes More Than Good Intentions”. I admit that I haven’t yet read the article, but found the title very inspiring.

Meeting people where they are takes hard work. I’ve seen friends going through horrific situations in life where others refused to go (religious or not). Everyone has different reasons for this and I’m not here to judge those who don’t do what I do. However, I’d like to share a little about what I do and why I see it as more than just good intentions or selfish intent.

There are many different ways to approach prayer both in terms of process and intent. A prayer can be a quick cry to God for help as a car is skidding on ice, holding someone’s hand and praying for peace as a loved one takes their last breath, they can be one time for a job interview or prayed again and again over time for an addiction to be broken.

Some prayers are loud, others are quiet.

Some are long, some are short.

The Bible gives us an idea through the Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:9–13) of a good approach to prayer, but the Lord also looks at our hearts and much like any loving relationship, wants us to come with authenticity and humility.

What struck me about the “Giving Comfort…” title above, was what made me wonder — why would someone say this and not mean it? The quick and easy answer would be to look and sound like a good person without having to do anything. But a prayer doesn’t have to be much — so why not just pray? Some people surely will say it and have no intention of praying and the Lord no doubt will work on those hearts in His own way.

But I believe many folks mean to, they just don’t because of one simple fact: praying for someone takes empathy. It means having a willingness to sit in their situation in some way, even if just briefly. Feel their pain, hope their hopes, celebrate their joys, and sometimes share their tears.

Several studies I’ve come across lately note that we don’t often like to practice empathy. It’s hard. It’s painful. Why do we want to feel someone else’s stress when we have enough of our own? And apparently, we’re a bit lazy when it comes to taking on this extra weight.

I believe this is part of what we’re dealing with though as our societies change in an ever disconnecting manner. We are struggling to empathize with others, even when we do agree. If it makes us uncomfortable, we tend to avoid it.

But the Christian (and I’d argue, really anyone) is called to do this. We need one another. We need to support, help and encourage. We need to hope for one another and as believers, to call others out for healing, blessing, guidance, for chains to be broken of addiction and pain, for financial blessings where needed, for help! But if we’re truly empathizing and we have the ability to do more to help, we will do that too! Through giving of time and offerings and skills.

So friend, I’m going to wrap up this article with a prayer for you.

I’m writing this on a Sunday. I pray for everyone who reads this to have a week of favor and blessing. For favor at their jobs or with their potential for new jobs. That they’d find the right words for hard conversations. That if someone they love is sick, Lord, you would guide the hands of the doctors and nurses to get them the healing they need — or just go ahead and heal them yourself. That if they’re struggling with addiction, anxiety, depression, or something else that keeps tugging at their hearts and minds in ways that are hurting them, that you’d give them the guidance, healing and clarity they need to not only get through each day but start to see real joy and hope — this week! If they’re feeling heavy burdens today about this world and it’s state, that you’d help them to see that you’re still in control.

But more than anything, let them know this week that they’re loved. That I am praying for them. And I will honestly keep praying for them this week. Help me in this task. Bring people into their lives to speak words of encouragement and hope and truth. To wrap their arms around them with love and compassion. To help them not feel isolated in their challenges.

I ask this Lord in Jesus name — amen.

So, sending thoughts and prayers to you all this week…